ElderBunny

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DATA

Here is a funny joke about an Indian boy on his first day at school in the USA

It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give meLiberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more! about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians," "Who said that?" she demanded.

Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"

Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're f**ked!"

And Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005."

1092387456

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bit*hes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bit*hes who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bit*h in the kitchen."

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ENJOY
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ElderBunny

Very funny, data, by tomorrow you'll have at least 500 fbucks more.

EDIT:

109, that was pretty good.

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DATA

thanks glad you liked it

Snk

NewGame

Forums

Alex°

i liked DATa's better =D

ElderBunny

"Well, personaly, this is my opinion, i didnt really like the Indian boy joke, parcially cuz am indian, and about the Iraq war, no need to bring up the past, and we are not "F***ed!""


I'm native american (custer part) and I didn't dislike Bill Clinton (s**k it part), but I thought it was funny.

No, we are not f**cked, bush is f**ed.

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Tom91

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

DATA

but u said that u were gonna pay me 500 fbucks

Alex°

i dont get that joke...ill look for a joke right now...

AwptimusPrime

ElderBunny

AP: 300 (I've heard it before, but it still has a kick to it!!)
Data: 500 (Awesome)
Tom91: 100 (I get it, but it's not the best)
109: 200 (Very nice, but not the greatest)


Leading so far: Data

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AwptimusPrime

Are we allowed to post another 1. And do I automatically get 300 fbucks?

ShiftyFifty

The $100 TATTOO

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says,
"Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you Get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates, " he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head
in disdain.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill
tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while
I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my
hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right
here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Muir Hospital.

/end