The Jokes thread

[Wild Cat]

LMAO!!!!

The prisoner one is priceless

The other one is not bad either

[rsrikanth05]

I thought MasterCard was priceless?

[SawanM]

LOL

That was a great one with the prisoner

[Wild Cat]

Originally Posted by rsrikanth05

I thought MasterCard was priceless?

lol you were wrong

the advert goes ....."something" is priceless and for everything else there's mastercard....

[rsrikanth05]

Originally Posted by Wild Cat

lol you were wrong

the advert goes ....."something" is priceless and for everything else there's mastercard....

Actually, it goes like this:
"There are somethings in life, that money cannot buy, for everything else, there's a MasterCard."

[rsrikanth05]

The great Revival:::::

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."

[SawanM]

Wikipedia jokes are actually funny, that's crazy.

[rsrikanth05]

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Harvard graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "OK, where are you from, Jackass?"

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price." "But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

Have a laugh...

Originally Posted by DAXLO

Who's That Dog?

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

That was actually from The Pink Panther Strikes Again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXn2QVipK2o

[rsrikanth05]

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT ; Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP ....
Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION ; Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP .
Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD ; Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET ..
Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE ; Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES ..
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY ; Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING ..
That's it!!!

[SawanM]

It should be 'women'.

[rsrikanth05]

Originally Posted by SawanM

It should be 'women'.

Nope.
Man discovered this, Woman discovered that.
It's correct.
Stop, analaysing a joke for errors, and laugh at them instead.

[Wild Cat]

I would laugh but I don't really find it funny ....

[rsrikanth05]

Originally Posted by Wild Cat

I would laugh but I don't really find it funny ....

Anti-female?
Cheer Up, it's just a joke...
Everyone know man discovered all of it...

[Wild Cat]

Do you know what God said when he made Adam?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can do better............. and he made Eve

[rsrikanth05]

Nice one Wild Cat.