Like the funny pictures thread was quite successful I think the joke thread can do well too.............. I'm not sure if there was any in the past.......... don't feel like searching.

So anyway, basically just post any good joke you know or hear here and let this thread grow and be the longest


Here's the first one:




Politically Correct Ways To Say That Someone Is Stupid!

1. All foam, no beer.
2. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
3. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
4. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
5. Bright as Alaska in December.
6. The cheese slid off his cracker.
7. Chimney's clogged.
8. He couldn't bell a buzzard.
9. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
10. Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box.
11. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
12. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
13. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
14. Dumber than a box of hair.
15. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
16. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
17. His family tree obviously doesn't fork.
18. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
19. A few beers short of a six-pack.
20. A few clowns short of a circus.
21. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
22. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
23. A few peas short of a casserole.
24. He is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
26. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
27. He's so dense, light bends around him.
28. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
29. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
30. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
31. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
32. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
33. If he had a brain he'd be dangerous.
34. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
35. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
36. If you put his brain in a buzzard, the buzzard would fly upside down.
37. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
38. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
39. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
40. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
41. He makes stupid look smart.
42. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
43. No grain in the silo.
44. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
45. One Ace out of his deck.
46. One brick shy of a full load.
47. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
48. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
49. One neuron short of a synapse.
50. One taco short of a combination plate.
51. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
52. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were further apart than most.
53. The porch light's on, but nobody's home.
54. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
55. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
56. Receiver is off the hook.
57. A room temperature IQ.
58. Put the "S" in stupid.
59. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
60. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
61. Skylight leaks a little.
62. Slinky's kinked.
63. As smart as bait.
64. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
65. Stupid Parents get stupid kids.
66. Suffers from Rectal-Cranial Syndrome.
67. Surfing in Nebraska.
68. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
69. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
70. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
71. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.